And (Hopefully) Not Be a Grinch
Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, laughter, and—if you’re not careful—a healthy dose of stress. For military families, holiday travel can add an extra layer of complexity to an already bustling season. With loved ones scattered across the country or even the globe, getting together often requires a bit more planning than just hopping in the car.
There are over 1.3 million active-duty service members, and many are stationed far from home. This means countless military families find themselves on the move every holiday season, navigating busy airports, unexpected delays, and the pressures of coordinating visits with family and friends.
But with a bit of preparation and a few handy tips I’ve picked up as a 10+ year military spouse, here are some suggestions for holiday travel without turning into a Grinch.
Tips to Alleviate Holiday Travel Stress
1. Manage Expectations
One of the biggest contributors to holiday stress is the pressure to create the “perfect” holiday experience. It’s important to remember that perfection is subjective. Instead of striving for a flawless holiday, focus on creating meaningful moments with your loved ones. Setting realistic expectations can help alleviate stress and allow you to enjoy your time together.
Talk to your family about what activities are most important to them and prioritize those. This might mean skipping some traditions or activities in favor of quality time. But whatever it is, communicate your plans clearly. This way, everyone will know when and where you’ll be able to join the holiday festivities. Remember, it’s all about creating joyful memories, not about being everywhere at once.
2. Meet in the Middle
As a military family, you’ve likely spent ample time away from friends and family back “home”. This distance may evoke a sense of responsibility, compelling you to run around to reconnect with loved ones whenever you are in the area. But when you’ve already traveled a far distance to be there, it can feel frustrating to trek all over town.
Instead, try meeting in the middle. Suggest a central location (e.g. family member’s house, restaurant) where you can come together. You might even merge gatherings! For example, one year, my husband and I organized an informal happy hour at a brewery and invited various groups of friends to stop by. It turned into a delightful afternoon where everyone mingled and caught up.
3. Plan Down Time
During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s easy to overcommit, especially as an out-of-towner feeling the urge to maximize your schedule. Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline events or gatherings that don’t fit your family’s needs or timing. Make sure to carve out “free” time in your holiday plans to relax and unwind.
Politely declining invitations can free up time for relaxation and give your family the chance to enjoy the holidays at their own pace. Prioritizing your family’s well-being over social obligations can reduce stress and lead to a more enjoyable holiday experience for everyone involved.
4. Share Travel Responsibilities
Holidays are stressful enough without crowded airports, delayed flights, or endless hours on the road. Don’t always feel obligated to make the journey for the holidays. Sometimes it may not be feasible, or you might want to establish new traditions where you are now.
Maybe this is the year to invite your loved ones to visit you, or to plan a time to get together outside of the hectic holiday season. After all, travel is a two-way street!
Safe Travels!
Military families face unique challenges during the holiday season, but with thoughtful planning and a focus on what truly matters, you can manage holiday travel without losing your holiday spirit. By managing expectations, sharing responsibilities, and knowing when to say no, you’ll be well on your way to a joyful, stress-free holiday season.
Remember, the holidays are about cherishing the time spent with loved ones—not about flawless execution. Safe travels!
By Nicole Meek, Military Spouse
Looking for more tips to thrive this holiday season?
Our CVN Holiday Thrive Guide provides valuable insights and tips to help military families manage holiday stress. Discover how to make this season as smooth as possible at cohenveteransnetwork.org/holidays.